Showing posts with label funny story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny story. Show all posts

Monday, April 23, 2012

Academic Nonsense Has Taken Over My Life Today

Feeling pretty uninspired on this freezing cold Monday. Loved my weekend, but cold weather, a quiz tonight and a finance midterm on Wednesday have me in a slightly anxious frame of mind. 

So, instead of bringing you down with my doom and gloom, I'll refer you to my most recent reads:







I'll be back a bit later in the week after I tackle this academic nonsense. Don't forget to check back on Wednesday for our latest Tell Me About It post!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Adventures of Vivi-Cat

For those of you who don't know, I live in a very quirky old home. 

I have outside windows on the inside of my house,                                
 crazy steep twisty turning stairs, 
and brick floors in my kitchen.  

My bathroom on the second floor has a window that can be opened to look out into the dining room which has a cathedral ceiling. 

Vivi-kitty has been making me nervous recently, because she perches in that window and has that "I'm about to jump and you can't stop me" look. 

I couldn't imagine her jumping to the first floor though, so although I've tried to keep the window closed, I wasn't too worried about it. 

Yesterday afternoon, I had just gotten out of the shower, when all of a sudden, Vivi arrived in the bathroom window. 

WHAT? 

I was so perplexed. 

I knew she wasn't in the bathroom with me. 

I heard her land, as if she had just jumped. 

It just wasn't possible!

There was no way my kitten leaped from the dining room table, located downstairs, into this upstairs window.
  
I looked out the window just to double check that the chandelier wasn't swinging or anything. 

After a few moments, I figured it out!

 Vivi found herself a new perch, and let me tell you, she certainly rules the roost. 


Friday, December 16, 2011

What She's Doing Now

Remember when I went to Bali for that gorgeous wedding?

Everything was exquisite. The bride was chic and the groom was handsome. 

The decor was tasteful and the location was idyllic. 










Said gorgeous bride, lives in Hong Kong with her hubby now. Here's what she's up to these days...


Yes, she's in this video. Can you find her?

Friday, November 11, 2011

Remember that Time I Almost Died

Okay so, this morning, I woke up to a strange man calling hello, hello. 

I thought I was dreaming because neither my housemate or her boyfriend were home. I jolted awake and heard it again. So I jumped out of bed, grabbed some pants and tiptoed to the top of my steps, figuring a robber doesn't say hello! 

Then I heard the beep beep from the alarm system, which means my front door was open or shut. I go, "Hello?" No one answered, so I crept downstairs and didn't see anyone. I was terrified, convinced I'd see this guy!


My front door was shut, so I run and open it and my neighbor was there. 

Keep in mind, I just woke up. I'm so confused and disoriented. It's 6:30am. So I ask him, what's up? He said that my front door was wide open, and Vivi, my kitten was standing there looking out. So immediately, I go "Oh my, did I leave my keys in the door?" (which unfortunately has happened before)

I start looking in my house to make sure I wasn't robbed or anything. 

He said no, the door handle was locked but I must not have locked the dead bolt and the door hadn't latched all the way. I guess I was pretty out of it after class last night because I always keep the deadbolt locked and double check it - even midday! 

I was so relieved! Thank God, Vivi didn't escape. I thanked him profusely. 

So then my other neighbor walks over and asks about whether they take recycling on Veterans Day. I proceed to have this pre-7am 10 minute powwow with my neighbors who I've literally talked to, maybe 5 or 6 times, ever. 

I go back inside and realize I had just jumped straight out of bed in a terror to come outside. I wonder how bad my hair is. I go to the mirror, and don't know whether to laugh or cry. 

I ended up laughing so hard I cried. I had completely forgotten that on a total whim I had put this opaque white mask stuff on last night. My face was covered with spots of white goop. The only thing missing from my ensemble was rollers in my hair.


If only it was this cute...not even.


Not only am I that young girl on our block who locks herself out / can't shut her door properly. I'm now the girl who has early morning powwows with crazy hair and white goop all over her face.
I hope that you enjoy the ridiculousness of this situation as much as I did. 

At least I wasn't attacked by some crazy person in my sleep!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Happy Birthday to Elisabeth

Yesterday, my sister Elisabeth turned 22 and we entered into our annual 7 month span where she pretends I can't boss her around nearly as much because she's only a year younger than me instead of two. Having your kids 17 months apart means that they will alternate between being best friends and worst enemies, likely within 5 minute intervals. You would think this stops when they become adults - you're funny. 

Elisabeth was my best sidekick growing up. Don't tell her that I called her my sidekick, she'll flip and say she was running things. It's not true.
Anyway, I am was a bit of a nerd growing up, so I read a lot of books. These books contained lots of brilliant ideas, ripe for misinterpretation. One such book was about Amelia Earhart. She was a thrill seeker and built a roller coaster in her barn.

We had a barn.

Did I mention yet, that we had way too much unsupervised outside playtime?
Brilliant, beyond brilliant idea. So, I found some long planks of wood and propped them up against the roof of the barn. We found a cardboard box and decided it would be perfect. 

It was just a matter of getting up there.

Luckily, right next to the barn was a fence post with a large metal gate attached to it. If I could stand close enough to the fence post, the gate would support my weight.

Now, obviously, since I was the older sister, I was stronger. It made way more sense for me to boost Elisabeth onto the roof.
(It had nothing everything to do with my overwhelming fear of falling and getting hurt.)

 We got Elisabeth up onto the barn roof and I passed the box up to her. While we were strategizing, read: bossing her as to the best way to line up the box with the edges of the wood, my mom walked around the corner of the barn and saw what we were doing.

"WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?!? You get the 3 Ds, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!"

My mother never yells - ever.
She yelled. A lot.
Shockingly enough, she also wasn't convinced by our insistence that we wouldn't need a ladder to get Elisabeth down from the roof.

So, you know, our harebrained scheme project didn't fail, it was just interrupted. 


Elisabeth did not always take to being bossed around so easily. One time, I had devised this awesome game. I was the queen, and she and Suzannie were my servants. It was SO MUCH FUN. I ruled from the top bunk and they got me whatever I demanded. They brought me books and pillows and snacks. Life was good, let me tell you!

It was such a demanding game that I got a bit parched.

 I ordered my loyal subjects to bring me water. 

They were great! They brought it in so quickly, with big smiles on their faces.


 I took a sip and right before I swallowed they burst out laughing saying it was...

 TOILET water. 

Pause, reflect. Take a moment to think what you would have done. No, murder is not a socially acceptable option.

Naturally, I spit the toilet water all over them and ran to tell my mom. 

20 minutes later, after waiting anxiously while she called poison control, we found out I would live. Were it not for my remarkable self restraint, my sister may not have lived past that day. 

All this to say, Elisabeth has always been fearless. She always takes things as far as they will go, never worrying about the repercussions. So Elisabeth, here's to you. I hope nothing stops you from your fearless escapades as you go forward. I love you (even when I don't like you). Happy Birthday!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Bad Ol Putty Tat

Today, my cute little innocent kitten turned into a vicious mouse killer.

 I don't know whether to be relieved that our house has one less mouse or to be completely disgusted. 

To be honest, I'm a little of both! 

She didn't kill the little mouse all the way, and poor Kathleen had to trap the mouse so it wouldn't escape before her boyfriend came to get rid of it for us. 

Luckily, I was at work and didn't have to see any of it! 

I got a frantic call from Kath asking what she should do. They don't tell you how to handle these situations when you adopt a little kitty!! 


All I can think about is whether the mouse was as cute as GusGus. 


And then I remember how mice scurry and that they carry disgusting diseases. 

Have you ever read the Little House on the Prairie books? Do you remember when a mouse chewed a circle in Pa's hair to take for its nest? Yeah - that's one of my greatest fears. Vivi can continue eliminating mice. I'll keep all of my hair, thank you very much!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Antelope




I know it's not polite to laugh at others' misfortunes. I can't help it. I laughed a lot. 

Monday, October 3, 2011

Random Thoughts and a Scantily Clad Debacle

Do you ever say things and immediately wish you could take them back? Wondering, where did that come from? What could have possessed me to possibly say something like that? The things in your heart are evidenced by what you say and what you do. Sometimes things come out of my mouth and I wonder at the ugliness that must be inside of me. Obviously, dwelling on these things, or obsessing over them does no good. Regret does no one well. However, I think careful consideration of motivation, intent, desires, and weaknesses can benefit us. It is good to wrestle with your own flaws.
Vivi kitten with her new feather toy.

 The trick is learning to do that without swirling into the depths of self deprecating emotion. People who spend all of their time beating themselves up drive me out of my mind crazy. I have very little tolerance for it. They seem to get stuck in it and I just want to shake them and tell them to snap out of it. It just doesn't make any sense to me. So maybe, while they work on not getting stuck in the mire of their emotions, I should work on developing love and patience towards those things to which I do not easily relate.

On a lighter note, this weekend was a lot of fun! We went sailing even though the weather was a bit intimidating. It was maybe 60 degrees outside with breeze and very little sunshine. My attire wasn't quite appropriate either. I ended up ditching my boots and jacket to sail barefoot in a short sleeved cardigan.  

The last time I took someone new to sailing out on a day with if-y weather was a bit of a debacle. My friends, Steph and Sarah wanted to get out on the water. When we got to the waterfront, I realized that the wind was a bit heavy to take two people out, so Sarah stayed behind and Steph came out with me. We reviewed the basic concepts, including how to tack and what to do if we for some reason capsized. This was early April, so the water was very, very cold. I emphasized to her, the most important thing to remember if we start to capsize is to get clear of all of the lines and whatever you do, don't hang onto the boat.

So we get out there and we are flying - there was some serious wind. It was a blast. I realized we had gotten pretty far from shore, so I told her we were going to tack, ran her through what needed to happen and then we went to tack. The thing I didn't take into account was that she had never really spent any significant amount of time on boats before. Growing up where I did, everyone knew boats. Well, my arrogance of assuming that basic boat knowledge is intuitive, definitely bit me in the butt.

We start tacking and she held onto the jib sheet (the line that controls the smaller sail) for too long. This backwinded us, meaning, she basically held the sail on the wrong side of the boat and the power of the wind blew us straight over. We ended up in the water and let me tell you it was icy! Completely took my breath away!

I immediately made sure she was okay, righted the boat, boosted her into it, hauled myself back in and we were underway again before the chase boat made it out to check on us. So we're sailing along completely drenched, freezing and just wanting to get back to shore. I could tell she was a bit shaken up, so I wanted to make it back as seamlessly as possible. 
Coast Guard Sail Boat in the Harbor

Unfortunately, based on our course, we had to tack one last time to prevent running aground. I told her to not even worry about her jib sheet this time, just cross over to the other side of the boat. I tacked the boat and this time she stepped on the line, backwinded the jib again and, I guess in fear of landing in the water for a second time, held onto the boat for dear life.

We ended up turtling (the boat was completely upside down rather than just on its side). This time, I moved even more quickly than before. I wasn't heavy enough to get the boat righted on my own though, so I pulled her up with me (think of all of the resistance created by the sails being completely under water). We righted the boat. I got her back aboard, and hauled myself in.

We get going again, straight shot for shore, and I am feeling pretty good about myself for handling it as well as I could have....and then I look down and realize...the sweat pants I was originally wearing, were no longer on my body...


That's right. 

You read it correctly. 

No pants. 

It was April. 

No bathing suit bottom.

Let's just say, thank God I hadn't chosen to wear any skimpy undergarments that day or worse, gone COMMANDO. Not that I ever do either of those things... 

Evening walk around the Harbor
OH! And, not only were the pants at the bottom of the St. Mary's river. I was the only one who knew how to de-rig the boat. So, yes, I got to shore, de-rigged the boat in my undies and then proceeded to walk across campus pants-less. The guy working at the boat house that day definitely had a more exciting day than he had originally planned. And poor Steph! I think it took her a while to get back out on the river again!

You would think after all of that, I would refuse take a new sailor out in chilly weather or solid breeze. 

No - I apparently do not learn from prior mishaps. Chris is a boater though, and convinced me he could sail. He somehow persuaded me to take out an FJ, and it wasn't until we got out on the water that he informed me he had never really sailed before. 

Delightful! 

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
It ended up actually working out beautifully though. The sun came out and I was warm enough. We didn't get wet at all and we got some solid boat speed. He did a great job! Didn't even mind me bossing him around the whole time. It was really great to get back on the water again, especially in a dinghy. You're so much closer to the water and have so much more direct control over things. We even got to hike out a bit. St. Mary's spoiled me with the water and the boats. 



Tuesday, September 20, 2011

10 Things About Life in a Relatively Big Family

Okay, so there are actually 11 things, but 10 sounded better.

 I'm not one of 8 or 9 kids, but I am the oldest of 4. And I have a bajillion cousins. So I feel qualified to speak to the topic of growing up in a big family.
Colleen being silly
 1) To this day I cannot eat slowly. If you didn't eat frantically or make some ridiculous modification (such as mustard and ketchup on your fries at once to deter any potential food snatchers), your siblings got more of the best food.
2) Germ-phobia is a luxury. Every drink, lip gloss, and yes, on awful occasions tooth brushes are likely to be shared at some point.
Colleen & Suzannie at the Landing
 3) If you can make someone laugh you will escape all sorts of trouble. Once Okay, more than once, I tripped my sister and made her cry. This one time, I was desperate to make her laugh before my parents heard. I knew they were a bit cranky that day and I'd really be in for it. My solution was to make a complete spectacle of myself by singing the song from Titanic. So there I was in our basement, dancing on the cement floor in socks going, "Near, Farrrrrrrrrrrr" at the top of my lungs. To really spice it up, I decided to add a dramatic leap sideways. Unfortunately, being the picture of grace and elegance at all times, I landed on a doll house rocking chair and managed to break my arm and my foot. Moral of the story: even if she doesn't laugh, if you try hard enough, sometimes you still might not get in trouble.
4) There will likely always be dollhouses or some other small toys littered around your house. Even if you guys are grownups.
Suzannie in NYC
 5) You don't own anything. Even the things you think you own, the things you bought with your money, are not yours. Nothing is sacred. It will be "borrowed". No matter what you do. Learn to share, quickly.
6) The only way to shut up a car of screaming children is to make them sing, loudly. You can make any song fun and lively, even John Denver songs.
Elisabeth & Dad
 7) The waiting room is actually a very interesting spot for people watching.You will never go to the doctor or dentist unless there are appointments available for at least half of your siblings.
8) It is possible to hate someone with your whole being and then laugh so hard you cry with that same person in less than 5 minutes.
The 4 of us
9) Spending any extended amount of time alone will result in anxiety.
10) Years after you've moved out, you will find yourself hiding your favorite things for no apparent reason. 

And finally, there will never be a family photo that pleases everyone.

Do you have any fun facts about life in a large family?

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Cranky Pants

What causes someone to wake up on the wrong side of the bed? To reset an alarm at least five times before getting out of bed. To stand in the shower for at least ten minutes before realizing you have yet to wash your hair and oh man, you might be running out of time. 

What makes the day feel a little bit gray, even though you can see the sun and the clouds aren't too thick? What makes you angry at traffic even if you are in no rush to get where you are going?

When I coached swim team with my best friend, we spent the summer staying out until the wee morning hours and then showing up for early morning practices. 

Now, naturally, the morning and I do not get along well. If it were up to me, we would rarely meet. 

So, there were mornings where I was just a teensy bit snappy. So snappy in fact that the head coach had to separate the two of us because we would bicker so much. He would run practice as we were relegated to separate sides of the pool. 

One morning, my mood was just as black as can be. Bree was not in the mood to be separated, so she ran up behind me, poked me in the bum and yelled 

'craaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyy pannnnnnnnnttttttttttssssssss' 

,,,in the most absurd voice. 

Needless to say, this was SO annoying to me. I had completely reached my breaking point. Here I was, and I had a choice to make. I could freak out and make a ridiculous scene, or I could laugh. 

Meanwhile, she continued with her little dance, and poked me repeatedly yelling 'cranky pants, cranky pants, Rebecca is a cranky pants'. 

So, I laughed. And laughed and laughed and laughed. 

Sometimes laughter is the only way to change the course of your day. That and maybe a meatball sub or some Ben & Jerrys...or both. 


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