Academic Nonsense Has Taken Over My Life Today

Feeling pretty uninspired on this freezing cold Monday. Loved my weekend, but cold weather, a quiz tonight and a finance midterm on Wednesday have me in a slightly anxious frame of mind. 

So, instead of bringing you down with my doom and gloom, I'll refer you to my most recent reads:

Why Do They Hate Us? - By Mona Eltahawy | Foreign Policy

In Weak Job Market, One in Two College Graduates Are Jobless or Underemployed

China's Latest Craze: dyeing pets to look like other wild animals

I'll be back a bit later in the week after I tackle this academic nonsense. Don't forget to check back on Wednesday for our latest Tell Me About It post!

On Love and Renovations

Isn't this a powerful statement? 


Now, I know we've discussed love before, here and here. But I'd like to get your thoughts on this latest bit of wondering.

As little girls, we watched our Disney movies, and learned about love  from fairy tales. Princes, knights and handsome street urchins swept princesses off their feet. They fell in love with big eyes and adoring sighs.  


So we dreamed that we were princesses, and although not all of us wait for a prince, some of us are more of the rough and tumble, go out and find our own prince types, we went on a search for a crazy, all-consuming, passionate love.

Yet, the divorce rate for first marriages in the US is a staggering 41%.

 However, in India, where most marriages are arranged and falling in love is not a required component, the divorce rate in recent years has been as low as 1%. It has increased as much as 150% percent with the rise of the middle class. Western culture has crept into Indian society, provoking more love based marriages. 

Obviously, this indicates correlation and does not prove causation. But doesn't it make you stop to think?

I will be the first to say that a culture which promotes arranged marriage most definitely has its flaws. I could never allow someone to make that sort of a decision for me. 

However, when the expectation of marriage does not include the presence of a sappy feeling, but rather a commitment and an active love, and you have the freedom to choose to make that commitment with someone with whom you have fallen in love, it would seem that the marriage might stand a better chance. 

What do you think? 
(Sources for my statistics: 1, 2, 3)

On another and completely unrelated note...

We spent our weekend fixing up a house that Chris would like to sell. I think these new floors make a dramatic improvement. 

I'm impressed with how well it turned out. It definitely changes the feel of the room!

Disclaimer: May Be Inappropriate for Younger Audiences

Smiley face - mine, Photo - Jessica Yatrofsky 

Warning: this link contains nudity. The girls over at The Core posted a really interesting feature on artist, Jessica Yatrofsky. Ms. Yatrofsky displays male nudity in an attempt to equalize the overwhelming emphasis on the female body in popular culture.

'Jessica Yatrofsky:  “My work has the underlying desire to make male nudity more visible in our cultural landscape. Plus: dicks are more easy on the eyes, right?! Our society is always eager to construct and depict the sexuality of women, but actively avoids the sexuality of men, except as voyeurs. Our generation should be challenging these inequalities.” '

While it is true that women are overly sexualized and put on display in advertising and movies, does the remedy come in the form of subjecting men to the same scrutiny? 

Or is the point moot? Do women have the same physical reaction to male nudity as men do to female nudity? 

Is this reaction inherent or a result of societal conditioning?

Initially, did the provocative displays of the female body offend the senses and shock people in the same way that Ms. Yatrofsky's photos do? Are they less shocking because we have become desensitized?

If we are desensitized, I would argue that it isn't a good thing. Just as inflation occurs when the market is flooded with currency, thereby devaluing the currency; the flooding of public space with scantily clad women may lessen the value of the female body. 

Many argue that it empowers women, because they have the choice to do with their bodies what they will. I would never say that anyone should mandate how women should dress, but as a woman - making those decisions for myself, could modesty add value? The overwhelming availability of female nudity subjects each woman to endless comparison. Eating disorders and plastic surgery and rampant consumerism are the destructive forces threatening women from the teen years through adulthood. 

 The shape of a woman's body which once was hers and hers alone to share, is now held to some standard set by the public market. In the attempt to escape a patriarchal control, have we gone too far? 

What do you think?

Women Everywhere Should Be Outraged

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This issue transcends partisanship. 

Rush Limbaugh disgusts me and will disgust you as well. 

Please watch this video through to the end. 

Women on all sides of the contraception debate should be up in arms over this type of misogyny. Over the course of several radio shows, Mr. Limbaugh attempted to undermine Ms. Fluke's public testimony by accusing her of sexual promiscuity. 

How many steps backward can one man take us?

Sandra Fluke, a student, respectfully exercised her constitutional right to free speech, and took the time to participate in the democratic process. This is something any conservative or liberal should applaud. If you disagree with her, participate yourself.

 However, Rush Limbaugh lambasted her, calling her a "slut", and a "prostitute" and saying that he wanted to see the videos of all the sex she is supposedly having. 

You, DIRTY PERVERTED MAN! 

 Ms. Fluke testified on behalf of her friend. She did not testify about sexual liberty, she testified about how contraception is used for many medical purposes apart from contraception, including the prevention of cysts and seizures. Rush argued that because she wanted healthcare coverage to include coverage of contraception that she wanted to be paid for sex and was therefore a prostitute. 

Let's not even go into Rush's own personal issues with prescription drugs...we don't want to stoop as low as him. 

He provides plenty of fodder against himself with the words out of his mouth. Not only are they completely illogical, they are offensive and crude. 

Whether you agree with Ms. Fluke's testimony or blatantly disagree with it - you should be outraged that a woman, who had the courage to advocate for her beliefs in the public spotlight, was so publicly defamed with blatant ad hominem attacks.

Does Mr. Limbaugh have a right to free speech? Absolutely. Has he abused it? Absolutely. 

This man would not be on the radio if he didn't have loyal listeners. 

WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL LISTENING TO HIM?!

STOP LISTENING TO HIM. 

He is not the voice of the conservative movement and as a conservative, I am ashamed he labels himself as such. 

I hope that with this crude display, he has finally rid himself of loyal listeners and will be pushed out of the spotlight.

 I hope that his lack of logic and blatant misogyny will encourage people to wake up and participate in the democratic process in a constructive manner.


Also, the Washington Post published a very interesting article on sexual shaming of women. Nowhere in the Bible is Mary Magdalene actually called a prostitute, but for years, the church taught that she was one. Just another interesting approach to the issue.  

Yes, that's Will Ferrell - Happy Mardi Gras!

Just got back from a great weekend in New Orleans, where Will Ferrell made an appearance as the King of the Bacchus parade. 

We sampled hurricanes, king cake, shrimp and grits, alligator, catfish, jambalaya, pulled pork barbecue, many flavors of the local Abita brew and po'boys, which in New Orleans are a must. Every bit of food we tasted was delicious! I need to spend some time learning how to make Cajun food! 

People got really competitive trying to catch some swag. Contrary to popular opinion, you do not have to reveal yourself to get beads, you only have to wave your hands like a loon and cheer loudly. We came home with more swag than we know what to do with! 

Everyone warned us that Mardi Gras gets really crazy - it actually wasn't nearly as bad as what I expected! The city certainly knows how to throw a good party though. 

The amount of trash leftover after the parades was mind boggling. The streets were overflowing with waste. Apparently, the city can get an estimate on revenue generated by Mardi Gras based on the pounds of trash collected after the event.

 The most amazing part: the city had each parade route sparkling clean by the following morning. 

Inmates on good behavior worked through the night and everything was ready for the next set of parades the following day. 

New Orleans fascinates me. 

Much of the city is still blighted from Katrina and many residents still suffer the effects of the BP oil spill. 

I've never seen more abandoned buildings in one place. 

The parades included school marching bands and dance troupes and they were completely racially segregated. 

The poverty in the city is very apparent. The roads are a mess and because the city sinks at different rates, the sidewalks are chaotically uneven. Crime is rampant and the government is corrupt. 

However, the music, art, architecture, food and climate are all incredible. 

Contradictions abound.

Lower 9th Ward: The red marking is where the water line was on this house on September 10, 2005. The  marking was made as rescue workers searched for bodies - the number announces how many were found and if the house is clear. 

You can still see kids toys on the floor. 

Many homes haven't been rebuilt.

Brad Pitt has built many sustainable and affordable homes in the area for residents who have returned. Some bemoan the architecture chosen as it does not resemble the shotgun style of the original homes. However, he has contributed a significant amount to the area and to the people who did not have means to help themselves.

The blue posts mark the water levels. 

It really was eyeopening to see that the recovery process is this far from over.

"Whenever you feel like criticizing any one…just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had."

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby, Chapter 1 

Did You Know? What do you think?

Today, Chris sent over an interesting fact from Gartner research. 

Apparently, a college grad today uses 98.4% of text relative to 1.6% on voice for a cell phone.

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While we can't determine causation or correlation, I would assume it has something to do with the cost of voice minutes as compared to unlimited texting; that and the ease of texting, particularly due to the lack of thought required. 

Unfortunately, there is an entire generation that has not learned proper phone etiquette. I went to a party that my 14 year old sister hosted, and there were groups of kids standing around, each of them with their phones out while they were talking to each other. They were texting and zoning out while their friends without phones tried talking to them.  The entire conversation centered around what was being texted. 

Verbal conversation requires articulation and thought on a more immediate basis than a brief text with misspelled words does.

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Although I definitely fall into the category of someone who texts regularly, I feel as if there is a gap even between my younger sisters and myself. 

Actually, I know there is a gap because we share a phone plan and my monthly text total is less than 50% of theirs. 

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we spent the 90s talking on the phone every night to our girlfriends, until we got in trouble for tying up the phone line. The first thing we did when we got home from school was run to the message machine to check the tape for messages. We had no access to a cell phone -  outside of the "family plan" for calling in case of emergencies.

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In middle school, I remember thinking it made so much sense, when I heard that one of my guy friends had written a list of topics on a sheet of paper before calling a girl he liked. He prepared himself so he wouldn't sound stupid when they ran out of things to talk about.

I guess my age group was right in that transition phase where we had phones as teens but we grew up without texting or Facebook. The most immediate communication we had was via AIM when our parents let us tie up the phone line (until they realized they needed a second line just for the internet!). 

Cher was so glamorous in Clueless because she and Dion had their own phones and could use them whenever they wanted. 

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A lot of younger kids I know don't even like calling to order a pizza, they opt for online ordering. 

As we go forward, will talking on the phone become obsolete? If so, what implications will that have? 

It will be interesting to see how things play out. Think about how awkward you were when you were younger. Think about those awkward pictures, those awkward comments, those awkward moments, those awkward romances. 

Now think about how instant communication has become. Now think about how quickly things can be made public. Now think about how all those pictures can be texted and forwarded and posted on Facebook. Now think about the lack of judgement young teens have...or any teens for that matter. 

I guess, I wonder what the benefit is for these kids?

 Yes, they are learning how to be tech savvy, and yes, many parents are getting better at learning what to monitor as information becomes more public, but there's almost unlimited access to instant information and communication. 

How effective can parents actually be?

Gaslighting - Crazy?

You are not crazy. 

Yashar Ali wrote a really interesting article about how society has conditioned men and women to brush off any female emotional expression by categorizing it as crazy. While I am not by any stretch of the imagination a feminist, I began to think about this concept. Are there many times when I cry for no reason other than the stress of the day? Yes. Does this mean that my anger, criticisms, empathy and giddiness should be categorized as crazy? No. 

Ali's article sheds light on the emotional manipulation that occurs as people insist you "relax" or "calm down" or tell you that you are being "overly sensitive". When was the last time you heard someone tell a guy he was being "overly sensitive"? I think that the ability to feel things deeply and communicate those emotions is an incredible strength. The presence of emotion does not indicate the absence of logic. 

I do not believe in most situations that the manipulation is intentional, but it is very effective. I cannot begin to count the number of times I have bitten my tongue on a topic because I think I'm making too big a deal out of it. Then, after further reflection, I realize that my reaction was justified.  Unfortunately, by then, the time had passed and the opportunity to fix the situation was gone. 

There was one time, I clearly remember, years ago where I was so frustrated and upset by something a boyfriend had done and felt as if I couldn't bring it up because he would think I was just being emotional. My roommate at the time pulled me aside and said "This does matter because you do feel this way. Your feelings matter". 

That thought, "my feelings matter", was so simple, but so profound. 

Isn't that a shame?

Do you think there is a reverse conditioning in how society treats men? Obviously, we don't write them off as irrational when they express emotion, but do we consider them weak? The idea of a "sensitive", more "socially evolved" guy has become more acceptable, but do we still judge a guy to be gay or somehow weaker when they express emotion? Do you think men and women have different levels of emotion or different types of emotions?

Accident of Birth

Have you seen what is happening in Somalia? You can check it out here and here. As if living under the constant threat of terror under Al-Shabab isn't enough, these people are suffering from a dramatic famine, weather extremes, and constant threat of robbery, rape and death. My heart breaks for these women who cannot even relieve themselves or gather firewood without risking their bodies. Not to mention the fact that once they are raped, there is no method of recourse, and public shame associated with their pain.

Here in the U.S., not only am I largely sheltered from the threat of any sort of sexual harassment, I have major tools for recourse. Not only do I have food, but I complain about it being hard to buy food in small enough quantities, or it being hard not to eat too much. Not only do I have a home, but I have a home in a safe neighborhood with plenty of room to spare. If I got pregnant, I would have very little risk of complication and the best treatment from world renowned facilities if anything did go wrong. These women suffer terribly from small easily avoidable complications. The infant mortality rate is astronomical there. How is it that a Somali girl, born on the same day, in the same year as me, has no voice, no guaranteed safety, no guarantee of basic needs met, while I never even had to ask?!?

These women need advocates. They need protection. 

This is where I feel called. This is why I am pursuing an education. This is why I am trying to take full advantage of the resources available to me, so that I will be capable of using my voice to speak for them. 

For now, I will work hard to get to that place. Does anyone know of an organization that provides protection for Somali women? Here is what I've found so far.