Gaslighting - Crazy?

You are not crazy. 

Yashar Ali wrote a really interesting article about how society has conditioned men and women to brush off any female emotional expression by categorizing it as crazy. While I am not by any stretch of the imagination a feminist, I began to think about this concept. Are there many times when I cry for no reason other than the stress of the day? Yes. Does this mean that my anger, criticisms, empathy and giddiness should be categorized as crazy? No. 

Ali's article sheds light on the emotional manipulation that occurs as people insist you "relax" or "calm down" or tell you that you are being "overly sensitive". When was the last time you heard someone tell a guy he was being "overly sensitive"? I think that the ability to feel things deeply and communicate those emotions is an incredible strength. The presence of emotion does not indicate the absence of logic. 

I do not believe in most situations that the manipulation is intentional, but it is very effective. I cannot begin to count the number of times I have bitten my tongue on a topic because I think I'm making too big a deal out of it. Then, after further reflection, I realize that my reaction was justified.  Unfortunately, by then, the time had passed and the opportunity to fix the situation was gone. 

There was one time, I clearly remember, years ago where I was so frustrated and upset by something a boyfriend had done and felt as if I couldn't bring it up because he would think I was just being emotional. My roommate at the time pulled me aside and said "This does matter because you do feel this way. Your feelings matter". 

That thought, "my feelings matter", was so simple, but so profound. 

Isn't that a shame?

Do you think there is a reverse conditioning in how society treats men? Obviously, we don't write them off as irrational when they express emotion, but do we consider them weak? The idea of a "sensitive", more "socially evolved" guy has become more acceptable, but do we still judge a guy to be gay or somehow weaker when they express emotion? Do you think men and women have different levels of emotion or different types of emotions?