Yesterday, my sister Elisabeth turned 22 and we entered into our annual 7 month span where she pretends I can't boss her around nearly as much because she's only a year younger than me instead of two. Having your kids 17 months apart means that they will alternate between being best friends and worst enemies, likely within 5 minute intervals. You would think this stops when they become adults - you're funny.
Elisabeth was my best sidekick growing up. Don't tell her that I called her my sidekick, she'll flip and say she was running things. It's not true.
Anyway, I am was a bit of a nerd growing up, so I read a lot of books. These books contained lots of brilliant ideas, ripe for misinterpretation. One such book was about Amelia Earhart. She was a thrill seeker and built a roller coaster in her barn.
We had a barn.
Did I mention yet, that we had way too much unsupervised outside playtime?
Brilliant, beyond brilliant idea. So, I found some long planks of wood and propped them up against the roof of the barn. We found a cardboard box and decided it would be perfect.
It was just a matter of getting up there.
Luckily, right next to the barn was a fence post with a large metal gate attached to it. If I could stand close enough to the fence post, the gate would support my weight.
Now, obviously, since I was the older sister, I was stronger. It made way more sense for me to boost Elisabeth onto the roof.
(It had nothing everything to do with my overwhelming fear of falling and getting hurt.)
We got Elisabeth up onto the barn roof and I passed the box up to her. While we were strategizing, read: bossing her as to the best way to line up the box with the edges of the wood, my mom walked around the corner of the barn and saw what we were doing.
"WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?!? You get the 3 Ds, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!"
My mother never yells - ever.
She yelled. A lot.
Shockingly enough, she also wasn't convinced by our insistence that we wouldn't need a ladder to get Elisabeth down from the roof.
So, you know, our harebrained scheme project didn't fail, it was just interrupted.
Elisabeth did not always take to being bossed around so easily. One time, I had devised this awesome game. I was the queen, and she and Suzannie were my servants. It was SO MUCH FUN. I ruled from the top bunk and they got me whatever I demanded. They brought me books and pillows and snacks. Life was good, let me tell you!
It was such a demanding game that I got a bit parched.
I ordered my loyal subjects to bring me water.
They were great! They brought it in so quickly, with big smiles on their faces.
I took a sip and right before I swallowed they burst out laughing saying it was...
TOILET water.
Pause, reflect. Take a moment to think what you would have done. No, murder is not a socially acceptable option.
Naturally, I spit the toilet water all over them and ran to tell my mom.
20 minutes later, after waiting anxiously while she called poison control, we found out I would live. Were it not for my remarkable self restraint, my sister may not have lived past that day.
All this to say, Elisabeth has always been fearless. She always takes things as far as they will go, never worrying about the repercussions. So Elisabeth, here's to you. I hope nothing stops you from your fearless escapades as you go forward. I love you (even when I don't like you). Happy Birthday!
