Remember that Time I Almost Died

Okay so, this morning, I woke up to a strange man calling hello, hello. 

I thought I was dreaming because neither my housemate or her boyfriend were home. I jolted awake and heard it again. So I jumped out of bed, grabbed some pants and tiptoed to the top of my steps, figuring a robber doesn't say hello! 

Then I heard the beep beep from the alarm system, which means my front door was open or shut. I go, "Hello?" No one answered, so I crept downstairs and didn't see anyone. I was terrified, convinced I'd see this guy!

My front door was shut, so I run and open it and my neighbor was there. 

Keep in mind, I just woke up. I'm so confused and disoriented. It's 6:30am. So I ask him, what's up? He said that my front door was wide open, and Vivi, my kitten was standing there looking out. So immediately, I go "Oh my, did I leave my keys in the door?" (which unfortunately has happened before)

I start looking in my house to make sure I wasn't robbed or anything. 

He said no, the door handle was locked but I must not have locked the dead bolt and the door hadn't latched all the way. I guess I was pretty out of it after class last night because I always keep the deadbolt locked and double check it - even midday! 

I was so relieved! Thank God, Vivi didn't escape. I thanked him profusely. 

So then my other neighbor walks over and asks about whether they take recycling on Veterans Day. I proceed to have this pre-7am 10 minute powwow with my neighbors who I've literally talked to, maybe 5 or 6 times, ever. 

I go back inside and realize I had just jumped straight out of bed in a terror to come outside. I wonder how bad my hair is. I go to the mirror, and don't know whether to laugh or cry. 

I ended up laughing so hard I cried. I had completely forgotten that on a total whim I had put this opaque white mask stuff on last night. My face was covered with spots of white goop. The only thing missing from my ensemble was rollers in my hair.

If only it was this cute...not even.


Not only am I that young girl on our block who locks herself out / can't shut her door properly. I'm now the girl who has early morning powwows with crazy hair and white goop all over her face.

I hope that you enjoy the ridiculousness of this situation as much as I did. 

At least I wasn't attacked by some crazy person in my sleep!

Loyal As Can Be

Let me introduce you all to Norman. Norman performs all maintenance on our office, my boss' properties, and my house (since I live in one of my boss' homes). He grew up in Baltimore, in a neighborhood that was not so nice. The drug culture sucked him in for a while and he's no stranger to prison. Many people he knows have been shot, and sometimes killed. However, Norman had a come to Jesus moment and is a changed man. All of the conversations I have with him end with a "Have a blessed day little lady". He is older, and has a fiance. One time he requested I type a letter he had written her, and mail it for him. It was very sweet.

He has his own way of thinking and doing things, but it is all motivated by a good heart and the best of intentions. The methods often are a bit, shall we say, unconventional. My house is an old, old house, and has its fair share of maintenance issues. Let's just say it is always an adventure to see how the repairs have been done. We had one incident where we had a leaky faucet, and he really wanted to replace it with the best of the best for us. He returned using all of the money we had given him for two bathroom sink faucets, spent on one fixture that had an extendable hose, so we could wash our hair with it if we wanted.

Great intentions, the execution isn't always on point. Communication is not his greatest strength.

He's a man of stature - maybe 6'3" and with all of the manual labor he does, he definitely has some bulk to him. Not someone you'd want to run into in a dark alley unless you knew him. However, knowing him, he's the most loyal person you'll ever meet.

One of the guys in our office, made the decision to tell Norman about my admirer next door. Norman didn't take the thought of me feeling uncomfortable well. He wanted to threaten my admirer, inform him that I was scared of him, and force him to apologize. I quickly protested and told my co-worker to stop Norman immediately! Can you imagine how uncomfortable that interaction might be? Norman came up to my desk shortly thereafter and informed me, that he had told said admirer that he wasn't allowed to come into the office, and that I deserved an apology. So, from what I can tell, he didn't threaten the poor guy.

The tables have turned. I'm now less worried about being stalked, and more worried about having to accept an awkward apology.

Such is life! 

Oh My

So remember my admirer (read: stalker)? Well, he never showed up on that Friday he said he would. I thought I was off the hook! I must not have knocked on wood quickly enough, because he came looking for me yesterday. One of my co-workers answered the door and informed him I was in a meeting and would be for a long time. Keep in mind, we can't lie and say I'm not here because he works right next to where I park so he knows my car. Stalker dude told my co-worker he had something to SHOW me, and would swing by tomorrow (today).

What could you possibly want to show a total stranger? I have creepy crawlies all over me just thinking about it! So, when my co-worker came to fill me in on the conversation, he found me hiding in the kitchen like a ridiculous child. Yes, I like to pretend I'm a mature adult, but when it comes to creepy men and lying I get a little bit nervous!

This morning I pulled up to the office and he was waiting there for me. Yikes! He told me he stopped by yesterday and I kept walking and said I was in a meeting. He said he has something to show me, might I have a minute to come see? (I promptly start freaking out in my head)

 I quickly informed him that I was quite late for work and could not. Nothing stops this guy though! He said he'd be by this afternoon. No asking, just informing. Hello manners?! Anyone?

I continued walking, and told him I actually was leaving half day, sorry! And then I hurried into the office.

My goodness, East Baltimore is never boring, that's for sure. I think the fact that his occupation is headstone engraving adds to the creep factor here,

...not to mention the double my age thing, the visiting a complete stranger, the wanting to show me something...okay, the whole thing is super sketch!

We'd be happier as kittens - they are the ones doing the stalking

Vivi is a very curious kitten. She stalks anything that moves and even things that don't move! She loved the bathtub but was dismayed to find that it filled with water. Everything to her is a new game and something to learn about. In her world, everyone is here to keep her happy, to pet her, to play, to snuggle.

 

Wouldn't it be great if that were the case for us? Although, I must say, Maryland summers are pretty wonderful. Recently, life has been full of delightfully breezy evenings with friends, crabs, corn and beer. This weekend should include more of that! I've officially started the second half of this week, so the countdown to the weekend has begun.