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Have you ever experienced extreme physical anxiety?
It's only happened to me a couple times, but when it does, it takes over. My heart races. My cheeks flush and burn. My stomach ties itself in knots and everything tenses. I feel crippled even though my mind tells me it will be fine, everything happens how it should. I take deep breaths, but nothing seems to work. I feel sick to my stomach and want to cry. My hands shake uncontrollably and if I try to speak, it shakes too.
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Luckily, this only lasts a short amount of time because it either consumes so much of my energy that I become exhausted and numb or the culpable situation passes.
This happens to me in a much lesser fashion before I have to speak in public, but then when I get up and speak, it's always fine and I have no trouble.
The times it really takes over and gets me is when I engage in a confrontation of some sort with someone I care about. I fear letting people down, disappointing them. It terrifies me.
Even though, when I think through things, I can rationalize why other peoples' opinions don't matter. Why my behavior is correct. Why their opinions are incorrect.
Even though I can think it through, it physically pains me to think of their upset. I don't let it control what I do, but it's certainly a hurdle. It used to be that I would do anything to avoid it, even if it was detrimental to me.
Over time, I've realized that's no way to live. So I don't. But every once in a while, that sneaky little beast shows up and rears its ugly head. I wait for it it pass and keep going. That's just life, right?
It definitely makes me feel for people who suffer from panic attacks on a regular basis. I can't even imagine.
Do you experience panic? How do you cope?
